Elizabeth Keating’s students learn about World War II in history books. But when one of them asked her grandmother what it was like to live through the wartime mobilization and bombing in the U.K., the past suddenly felt real. Talking to her grandmother, the student told Keating, felt like “talking to a celebrity.” “It gives us a link with history that’s very personal,” says Keating, a professor emerita of anthropology at the University of Texas at Austin and author of The Essential Questions: Interview Your Family to Uncover Stories and Bridge Generations.
Your grandparents might not think of themselves as eyewitnesses to history—or realize that anyone is interested in the ordinary details of their lives. Asking an unexpected question can make the past come alive while helping you discover who they were, and who they still are. These questions can help you get beyond the familiar family stories—and start conversations you’ll be glad you had.
Your grandparent has probably changed their mind about more than a few things over the years. Maybe they swore they would never get married or that they’d stay in their hometown forever. Ask what they felt certain about at your age—and what eventually made them reconsider.
The answer can make a younger person think, “Oh my God, you were my age,” says Mike O’Krent, founder of LifeStories Alive, a company that preserves family histories on video. It might also be reassuring to discover that your grandparent once shared some of your fears or wrestled with questions you’re confronting right now. Hearing what happened next can open up a larger conversation about how they became the person they are today.
It’s better to zoom in on one specific setting. Ask who sat where, who cooked, and whether everyone ate together. Was dinner loud and chaotic or silent and formal?
Did people linger or bolt the moment they finished? Was there always enough food? One person told Keating that “there was no talking at the dinner table.” In Keating’s own family, her mother occasionally made the children prepare little reports from the encyclopedia to present during dinner.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
