3 social skills you should never outsource to AI

our Twitter (X) feedView our Youtube channelView our Instagram feedView our Substack feedView our Spotify feed AI can provide short-term relief from social anxiety, but it can come at the expense of the social skills you’re trying to build. Mind and BehaviorEmotional IntelligenceAnxietyConfidenceDifficult Conversations “AI is helping me with my social skills,” one of my therapy clients told me. He experienced social anxiety and had started asking AI for scripts to say whenever he felt nervous.

At a recent dinner party, when he felt overwhelmed by all the insightful questions the other guests were asking, he slipped away for a restroom break. He asked AI to create a list of questions that would make him a more interesting conversationalist so he could be well-liked. He returned to the dinner table armed with questions and a little more confidence.

Like many people, he hoped AI would hand him a social shortcut, one that would make him less anxious in the long run. Unfortunately, his AI use was actually hampering his social growth. While those scripts gave him a momentary confidence boost, they were making him less socially adept over time.

As a therapist, I’m seeing my people hand over three common social practices to AI, and it’s simultaneously eroding their confidence and social skills. They are: Many people tell me they’re looking for help finding the right words when they’re meeting new people, going on a date, or trying to get to know an acquaintance better. And it’s not just inside my therapy office.

After a recent keynote speech I gave, an attendee confided in me that she felt uncomfortable at networking events. There’s a good chance you’re better at knowing what to say to your friend or how to ask for help from a colleague than AI is. You’ve been doing it your whole life, and your willingness to keep doing it every single day is what will keep your social skills from atrophying.

One of my clients started a business with a friend. Several months in, he felt his friend was taking advantage of their relationship by not putting in as much effort. He asked AI for help, but when he confronted the issue as the chatbot suggested, his friend became defensive, and their conversation turned ugly fast.