A friend, who I believe is financially comfortable, set up a GoFundMe page to pay for vet bills for their sick dog while on holiday overseas. The family appears to be financially comfortable; both adults have good jobs, own two cars, have all the latest gadgets like expensive bikes and sporting equipment, take an annual holiday overseas and domestic holidays throughout the year, and live in a big house in a well-to-do area. Is it socially acceptable to ask for money publicly in these circumstances?
Eleanor says: I’ll never forget someone posting their household expenses as proof it’s hard to get by on two six-figure incomes. By the time they’d paid for holidays, two cars, private school fees, insurance, extracurriculars, the mortgage and savings, there was nothing left! They really did think this was proof they weren’t well-off.
I suppose in some sense they’re right. Once you use your money to secure your financial future and have a high quality of life, you don’t have a Scrooge McDuck pile left over. Point of story: moving up the wealth hierarchy moves your sense of what’s normal.
Comparison looks up, not down, so people lose track of how many people they’re above. What they first experienced as an advantage slowly starts to seem like background. It’s possible your friends feel and are genuinely burdened – “we can’t cover this!” – in a situation other people would covet.
And importantly, we don’t know their finances. They may not be liquid, precisely because of the holidays and the house and the equipment. But in the ethics of asking for and giving money, it’s important that money isn’t just money.
Money talks, in the sense that it says things. What it says isn’t always exhausted by how much people have. It may be important for the less well-off child to take their parents to dinner because that says “thank you”.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
