Americans appear more willing to ask for compromise than to expect it from their own side. An October 2025 Pew Research Center report found that 78 percent of Democrats considered it very important for Republican officials to compromise, while 46 percent expected that of Democratic officials. Among Republicans, the corresponding figures were 71 percent and 39 percent.
Those findings concern politics, but they raise a question worth carrying into our homes, workplaces, and communities. When we ask someone else to become more reasonable, are we prepared to examine what resolution might require of us? I believe our difficulty extends beyond disagreement itself.
Too often, we approach conflict with the aim of winning, then wonder why better communication produces little progress. The missing ingredient may be a willingness to pursue an outcome that considers more than our own position. I call that willingness a spirit of resolution.
It means entering a difficult conversation prepared to listen, examine our contribution, and consider change. Without it, even a carefully worded response can become another way to defend ourselves. The spirit of resolution is something that I’m constantly asked to define which prompted me to write a book on the subject, as so many people are seeking resolution but don’t understand how to go about it.
This spirit is vital across all levels of disagreement in order for all those involved to reach the best possible outcome. This approach to emotional intelligence can be applied across different types of conflict, from custody disputes and relationship disagreements to challenges in the workplace. In each setting, the goal is to understand the perspectives involved and identify a constructive path forward.
People may understand what another person is requesting yet remain unwilling to consider it. In my experience, that human behavior gap deserves as much attention as the words we choose. My experience working with families navigating custody disputes over the past 15 years has made this particularly meaningful to me.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
