Data Says Men Would Rather Be Rejected Than Financially Dependent on a Partner

There is a lot that crumbles in the face of a shitty economy: My bank account, Gen Z’s hopes of owning a home, and any real chance of collective calm. But one thing that has managed to remain steadfast in these financially distressing times? Certain men’s ideas of gender roles.

According to a Hint App survey of more than 5,000 men, 65 percent of participants said that they’d feel more uncomfortable being financially dependent on a romantic partner than being rejected by them. As an independent girlie myself, I understand the hesitance in being financially dependent on anyone else. In situations where someone may fall on hard times, isn’t it nice to know that the person you chose to be your partner in life is able to step up and help take care of things while you sort your life out?

Well, for men, the answer is “not really.” About 54 percent of men said they would rather make drastic changes to their living standards (AKA budget) than depend financially on a partner during a difficult period. And even if they do go ahead and decide to swallow their pride and ask for help, they’re not necessarily happy about it. A separate 47 percent said that they would feel uncomfortable with being financially dependent on a someone even if both partners agreed that the arrangement made practical sense.

So when a man loses his job, earns less than his partner or has to be financially supported, he believes that he’s at risk of losing his relationship, Dorman explains. Financial difficulties are likely to cause strain in any relationship—so when you throw gender roles and expectations on top, these issues can feel hard to come back from. Dorman says that couples can lessen the blow of this identity shift by financially planning in advance, typically in the form of a secure savings account.

A joint savings account can feel less like one person is directly dependent on a partner’s income. And no matter who may be the breadwinner, it’s important that both partners are always involved in financial decision making. One partner can earn more than the other, and years later, even this could change.

And while you may have a vision for what this dynamic looks like in your relationship, you never know how it’s going to play out in real life. The important thing is that you and your partner know how to adapt.