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Don’t mention the Iron Dome: comedy genius Kemi on warpath at Tory conference | John Crace

Don’t mention the Iron Dome: comedy genius Kemi on warpath at Tory conference | John Crace

theguardian.com 06.10.2026 18:49 3 views

You can’t say the Tories haven’t put a lot of thought into their party conference. It takes some programming skill to make every day even more dismal than the last. You come expecting very little and get even less.

Schopenhauer would be in dreamland. The very act of being has never felt so inconsequential. Yet there’s something very comforting about this.

You leave the Birmingham theme park attraction feeling better about yourself than when you arrived. Who knew abject failure could be so much fun? You find yourself congratulating some members on being able to dress themselves.

A curious hybrid of an endangered species and care in the community? You might find yourself wondering if you are being gaslit. Small pockets of people roaming around aimlessly with a smile on their face, insisting that it is very heaven in this dawn to be alive and repeatedly crossing themselves before images of the beatific Kemi Badenoch.

But then you realise that the people the Tories are really gaslighting are themselves. It’s almost painful to watch. But mostly it’s like a remake of The Truman Show.

Everyone waking up each day and believing they are engaged in something meaningful. When the reality is nothing is happening. They are living in a Potemkin village.

Extract — continue reading at the source.

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