A runner says he became so consumed by a fitness addiction that he spiralled into anxiety and became sleep deprived. Wayne Davies said he was left "constantly worrying" about race times, training plans and fitness data and comparing himself to other runners on social media. The 40-year-old said it felt like the "rug was being pulled from under my feet", before he was signposted to NHS Wales where he was able to regain control.
An expert said she had seen an increase in search traffic for fitness addiction in recent months as society talks more honestly about these behaviours. Wayne, from Newtown in Powys, began running about 10 years ago as a way of keeping fit but said he reached a "real low point" at the height of his addiction as his sleep suffered, concentration declined and anxiety began to affect other areas of his life. After starting with casual jogs he quickly progressed to marathons, before taking on ultra-distance races including a gruelling 75 miles (120km) around the Llŷn Peninsula in Gwynedd.
"I became obsessed with trying to do longer and longer distances," he said, "then I started focusing on times." "I was never happy, and always chasing the next challenge or trying to get a better time." To Wayne, it felt like the "end of the world" if he didn't succeed. "I never stopped to appreciate what I'd achieved," he said. He said his struggle intensified following a heart scare during a training run, which led to him being diagnosed with atrial fibrillation - a heart rhythm condition.
Although he returned to running after treatment, he constantly worried the condition would recur, and realised it was becoming an obsession. Wayne said he never realised a fitness addiction existed until he spoke up about it, adding that he was just trying to "get better all the time." "Since I shared the story I've had a a lot of people saying they can relate to it," he said. "I probably wasn't open about it before because you feel like you're going to get judged." His friends and family encouraged him to seek help through his GP, who signposted him to the Powys-based charity, Ponthafren.
"A lot of men think talking about how they feel is a sign of weakness, and I admit I did feel a bit ashamed at first," he said. "But taking that first step was probably the best thing I ever did." After enrolling on the NHS Wales SilverCloud Space from Anxiety programme, he worked through a 12-week course, learning "how to manage my thoughts and let things go". He said: "I don't tend to look at the data as much anymore.
I just accept it for what it is." He sometimes uses his watch as a guideline when running, but no longer "obsesses over it", adding that he "goes by how I feel on the day". He has been in training for the The Marathon Eryri, formerly the Snowdonia Marathon, but with a very different outlook. "I'm not worried about times anymore," he said.
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