Maybe you're coming down from a particularly good orgasm (bless), cuddling with your partner, or simply lying there trying to convince yourself you don't have to pee. Whatever the circumstances, there's something about being tucked under the covers together that makes it a little easier to say what's on your mind. (And no, we're not talking about reminding your partner to switch the laundry.) Enter: pillow talk. Sometimes it's a little dirty talk during aftercare.
Sometimes it's a surprisingly deep conversation you have with your partner when you're feeling especially close. But what makes it different from your everyday conversations, Finn says, is the intimacy of both the setting and the discussion itself. So, what should you actually talk about?
And can a little bedtime chatting really make your relationship (and sex life) better? We asked three experts to break down everything you need to know about pillow talk, including how to get the conversation going without making it feel like a mandatory feelings exercise. Think of pillow talk as those conversations that happen when you're feeling especially comfortable and connected with your partner.
Maybe you're sharing a fantasy, talking about your future together, or confessing something you've been too embarrassed to bring up over dinner. You're physically close, the usual distractions have (hopefully) been put aside, and there's no particular rush to move on to the next thing. And while pillow talk often happens after sex, it can just as easily happen before getting busy, while cuddling, or during a lazy morning in bed.
The point isn't necessarily what you're talking about, but that you're taking a moment to connect. Turns out, those late-night conversations can do more than keep you up past your bedtime. When so much of your daily communication revolves around schedules and responsibilities, pillow talk gives you a chance to connect without an agenda.
She notes that when couples spend most of their time discussing logistics, it's easy to fall into a pattern of transactional conversations rather than actually connecting. Plus, there's something about being physically close that can make opening up feel a little less intimidating. Think: Slumber party vibes.
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