Only children have long been the subject of stereotypes: they're independent, self-sufficient and happy in their own company. It's perhaps no surprise, then, that some people believe they're best off dating each other. But is there any truth to the idea that dating another only child could mean finding someone who deeply understands your upbringing or is it a recipe for complete disaster?
According to relationship experts, the answer is nuanced, but the idea does reveal some home truths about how family dynamics can shape adult relationships. "Only children often grow up with a great deal of adult attention," Silvia Dutchevici, a psychotherapist and founder of the Critical Therapy Institute in New York, told Newsweek. "Many are comfortable with adults early, independent and good at being alone.
Some also carry their parents’ hopes and expectations by themselves, with no sibling to share the weight." But being an only child doesn't automatically determine how someone shows up in a relationship. Dutchevici argued that while having siblings may provide more opportunities to learn soft skills like compromise and conflict resolution, parental involvement plays a huge part. "It might seem that siblings offer daily practice in sharing space, sharing power and negotiating—who gets the last cookie, who sits in front, how to make up after a fight," she explained.
"But those lessons don’t come automatically. Much depends on how parents guide them." Kristine Anthis, a couples therapist and certified matchmaker, agreed that broad generalizations can be misleading. "What I see is that some only children value solitude and are very comfortable alone, and others feel it as a sense of missing closeness," Anthis told Newsweek.
"If both partners are used to having their own space, it helps to talk openly about how much togetherness each person wants. That's about individual patterns, not about being an only child." Despite longstanding stereotypes, both experts said there is little evidence that only children are inherently selfish, spoiled or socially awkward. "It’s an old stereotype that has never held up well," Dutchevici said.
Research reviews by psychologist Toni Falbo found that only children generally perform as well as children with siblings on measures of social adjustment and interpersonal relationships. For some people, however, there can be curiosity about the sibling experience they never had. Dutchevici said some only children are drawn to partners from large families and enjoy becoming part of a busy family dynamic.
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