There are a few unofficial rites of passage you must experience when you enter the dating world. Not just your first kiss or first date—those are all obvious. There are very specific cannon events according Gen Zers who date—and unfortunately, they’re not very good.
Some of these include: being stood up on a date, getting ghosted by someone after the most incredible 2-week talking phase, and of course, the realization that you are dating a loser. Some of us have an extremely intense vetting process with people we date to avoid this very thing. But even the brightest and the hottest of us have fallen victim to being the much better half of an absolute dud.
Sometimes these duds are hot, funny, or just fun to be around enough that you can’t really tell if you’re accurately sensing the “washout” on them or just being overly critical. So how exactly do you tell if the person on your arm is a loser—and how do you make sure you never end up back in this situation again? The term “loser” may seem harsh—and elementary.
I mean, it’s the name grade-school bullies resort to in afterschool TV specials. And calling someone a “loser” as an adult might just feel rude. But if you have knowingly dated a loser (we have a support group, BTW), you know that the name is totally apt.
Now a “loser” means different things to different people. In this specific case, though, it’s not quite meant to be a dig at someone who may be going through a difficult time in their life. Do they take responsibility for the part they played in those decisions, or do they always have an excuse for everything?
Loser behavior has much more to do with character than it does circumstances. Do they behave decently even when it would be easy to do the opposite?” Also, how do they make you feel? If asking any of these questions make you unsure about your partner—odds are they’re not the kind of person you want to date.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
