Allegations of domestic violence against Congressman Max Miller, which he denies, have raised persistent stereotypes about abuse. NPR's Michel Martin talks to author Leslie Morgan Steiner. The deadline has passed for Republicans to replace Ohio Congressman Max Miller on the ballot.
He's running for reelection despite allegations of domestic violence made by his ex-wife, Emily Moreno. She says he scalded her with hot water, pushed her against a wall and held a gun to her head. Miller denied it in a livestreamed video and noted he'd never been charged with a crime.
MAX MILLER: Ask yourself, if I had assaulted her, would she had offered to cook me dinner six days later? MARTIN: Now, let me say here, we're not here to litigate the truth or falsity of any of these statements by either party. But this story, playing out as it has in a powerful family, has raised some myths and stereotypes about domestic violence.
So we called Leslie Morgan Steiner. The author detailed her story as a survivor of domestic abuse in the memoir "Crazy Love" and in a TED Talk that has been viewed more than 10 million times. She has advocated for survivors for years as a public speaker, on the boards of anti-domestic-violence organizations and as an adviser to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
So I asked her some common questions about abuse, starting with why some people may act as if everything is normal before eventually making allegations. LESLIE MORGAN STEINER: Denial, recantation, lying under oath and appeasement are all survival tactics that every victim uses to protect herself and children, even after divorce. It's typical in abuse cases.
STEINER: The victim knows better than anybody else how dangerous an abuser is. And so it's very important to placate them and try to de-escalate and make sure that things stay as calm as possible. It's not proof that the incident didn't happen.
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