Why does it feel like one surprise expense could take the whole damn house down? Experts unpack the stress of living with no margin, and how to cope. I wasn't raised to talk about money.
I'm an elder millennial; our parents seemed to actively keep finances very hush-hush. In fact, discussing them at the dinner table (or anywhere else) was considered taboo. From what little I knew, though, one thing was certain: making a specific amount of money would mean I'd be comfortable for life and have the white-picket fence dream we were all sold.
Which is why little me from back then would be shocked to learn I hit that number I had in my head a while ago... and yet I’m not exactly living the high life. This topic comes up quite a bit in my friend group, comprised mostly of other millennials daring to do things differently from our parents by actually talking about money. What I've learned from these convos is that a lot of us are suspended in a state of "fine but not OK, per se" financially.
Sure, it might all look nice enough on paper. The mortgage payment clears. The kids have shoes that fit.
Modest vacations might make their way onto the calendar. But we also live with a constant low-level dread, a feeling in our bones, that a blown transmission or surprise ER bill could level it all. It's not that we're drowning.
But we feel like we're permanently treading water, and that doesn't feel great either. I reached out to experts, and they shared a few different terms to describe this. Stephanie Smith, a clinical social worker and founder of the support resource The Group Guide, calls it "living without a margin." Edward Jones senior behavioral analyst Sarah Newcomb calls it "financial vulnerability." And Morgan J.
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