I had wrote a story entitled I thought by 34, I’d be married with kids. Instead, I just took a solo trip to my 90th country. I received a DM from a lovely follower saying, “This man made a hate video about you.” I clicked on the link and there it was: a man with a small following on YouTube had made a 25-minute video depicting my lifestyle, my body, my choices, which was entirely triggered by my published piece.
Sometimes though, incels aren’t this upfront. So how exactly do you know when you’re interacting with one? Are the signs always obvious and noticeable right away, or are there more nuanced and subtle indicators to look out for?
Below, two experts tell us all the signs to look out for when trying to spot an incel. It’s short for “involuntarily celibate” and in simple terms it’s a resentful person (overwhelmingly male, though not exclusive) that can’t get laid and takes it out on society, namely women. Incels are part of an online subculture where discussing ideologies rooted in misogyny are encouraged, often leading to extremist behavior.
Overvoll agrees with Carly S., adding that it’s also necessary to “pay attention to how someone talks about rejection and boundaries,” she says. Do they use words or phrases like ‘high value,’ ‘chad,’ ‘golddigger,’ or ‘sexual gatekeeper?’ These are all phrases widely used in incel spaces.” How a man talks about violence against women is imperative info too. One thing you can evaluate, says Overvoll, is “do they believe women when women say they were harmed by a man, or do they make a case that it was the woman’s fault?” Sometimes, their algorithm will give it away.
But while not every incel kidnaps you and straps you into an alternate-reality simulation like Harry Styles’s character did in the movie, there are other genuine concerns about them. Over time, that kind of behavior can really mess with your confidence and make you start questioning yourself.”
Extract — continue reading at the source.
