As a 75-year-old lesbian, Mindy Meleyal has lived through every major milestone in the modern LGBT rights movement, from the start of decriminalisation in 1967 to the first same-sex marriages in 2014. But now she says this important part of her identity is frequently overlooked due to her age. She's part of England's older LGBTQ+ community, which a new report suggests often experiences poorer health, more limited finances and greater social isolation than the wider older population.
The report, from the Centre for Ageing Better, says without specialist support, this growing demographic could be forced "back into the closet" when accessing care, warning they may even delay getting the care they need because of concerns about homophobia. Adam Porter, a housing development manager from the LGBT Foundation charity, says he regularly meets older members of the community in exactly that situation. "It's very common for people to hide things if they have a carer visiting their home, for example hiding their wedding photos or taking down a trans flag," he says.
"In the case of someone moving into a care environment, that means hiding who they are in their own home, for what could be the rest of their life." He says he has been "horrified" by some of the stories he has heard meeting older LGBTQ+ people, including some who have had carers offer to "pray for them" regarding their sexuality. Porter is part of the team behind Kindred House, a first-of-its-kind LGBTQ+ social housing scheme for over-55s, set to open in Manchester next year. The scheme, a joint project with the local council, will provide 80 self-contained apartments and communal areas available to the local community.
The majority of residents will be LGBTQ+. The Kindred House scheme is what's known as extra-care housing, which means residents live independently, but there is a 24/7 care team available for those who need extra help, and all staff will receive specialist training around LGBTQ+ inclusion. Porter says he hopes the scheme will "trigger some conversations" about how to best support older LGBTQ+ people in the challenges they face.
Mindy and her wife Linda have been together for more than 30 years, but says they're often mistaken for sisters. "She's 18 inches taller than me, I've got a Yorkshire accent and she's got a Northern Irish accent," Mindy says. "I think it's pretty obvious we weren't brought up in the same building." She believes part of that is often down to people presuming she is straight because of her age.
"There are different tribes of people in every age group, but when you get older, people start clumping you together with other stereotypes," she says. On one occasion, while Mindy was in hospital after a stroke, a nurse referred to Linda as Mindy's husband. She said it was not only "insulting", but made her consider what sort of training the staff might have had.
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