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Why Is It So Hard to Call Someone Out on the Group Chat?

Why Is It So Hard to Call Someone Out on the Group Chat?

gq.com 29.10.2026 13:00 9 views
A sociologist who studies online groups explains how social dynamics play out on our screens.

Read the rest of GQ’s special report on Cornell here and here. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. What do you see in this screenshot?

This kind of interaction is seen linked to the general disinhibition effects documented in digital communications: If your face isn’t there, and if you’re not confronted with the presence of other people, it’s a lot easier to behave in ways that may break with normal social conventions. There’s a long legacy of misogynistic groups existing and thriving. Some people might want to say, “Oh, this is a problem because of Snapchat,” but what research in the last 30 years suggests is that people will find ways to connect no matter what digital communication platform they are using.

Research about online communities dates back to the 1980s and ’90s, and some of the high-drama incidents occurring in that time were around rape culture. Someone in this chat used a gamer phrase, “AFK” for “away from keyboard.” Gaming is an incredibly heterogeneous space of human activity, but there are some communities where violations of social norms are not just okay, but important: “If you want to play the game, you’ve got to get over it.” What does the violation of social norms do for a group? They might be communicating at multiple levels in ways that are hard to see from the outside.

By drawing on particular words they’ve used in the past, they might be signaling things to each other, like their membership in the group, their commitment to each other. Their desire to stay connected with each other may be more powerful than the desire to speak in an empathetic way about, in this case, the experience of a young woman. There were reportedly more than 50 people on this group chat.

Is there a digital version of the bystander effect? Some research on bystander effects suggests that the larger the group size, the less likely any one individual in that group is to speak out against it. Individuals may feel like they don’t have control or that they can’t be responsible for the behavior of everybody in the chat.

If their sense is that others in the group think this is okay—or would be willing to ostracize them if they were to speak out—they’re less likely to be willing or able to speak out. There’s also a performative element. They are putting on a show; they are onstage for each other.

Extract — continue reading at the source.

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